Wednesday, November 19, 2008

Parenthood

Please tell me it will get easier. Please tell me that all these tears I am shedding right now will be worth it in the end. Please tell me where I have gone wrong, I have always tried so hard. Please tell me something good will come out of all this angst. I no longer know what to do and if I didn't love the little sod, I would put him up for adoption.

Parenthood is not as easy as it seemed once upon a time.

24 comments:

Anonymous said...

I don't know how old the little darling is but they go through a phase where their brains are physically changing and they cannot - not will not - see or understand the impact they are having on you - very hard to get through but you will.
jenny

trashalou said...

I was speaking with my cousin this morning. We covered many topics, one of which was children(hers are 30, 27 and 24) . She said 7to10-interesting, 10to12-lovely, 13-16 sell them!

A fabulous piece of advice she gave me years ago (when mine were wee and hers were teenagers) was something an experienced parent had said to her
'To get the operational age of your teenager you should subtract 12 years from the age of a boy and 10 years from the age of a girl.'
And do you know what? I think as a generalisation it works.

Marie said...

Ahhh... those times when you wish they were supplied with an instruction manual. Alas, we're left to muddle through as best we can.

If all elses fails I'd say just bury yourself in the stash basket until he's old enough to leave home ;)

xMx

Daisie said...

Oh, I know some days I am glad to put them all to bed but on good mood days can think of nothing lovelier than my little brood.
Bad times and behaviuor generally don't last, keep on the gin and all will be fine in the end!
Hugs, xxx

Heart in the country said...

They do get better, what ever they are like from terrible twos that last until senior school, or terrible stroppy teens or sometimes they are both! They do grow out of it.

Ali said...

I think the only time Parenthood seems easy is before you have the little darlings!

Sending maternal solidarity your way.

Sue said...

I often feel just like this and all I can say is that it will pass... lots of virtual hugs coming your way to go with the wine and chocolate you deserve... My eldest is now 21 and she is delightful company. The other 2 (17 and 12) make DH and I feel like leaving home!

Working Mom Knits said...

**huggs**

Can't offer advice. But can offer to send my (well built/frightenly strong; well educated in the ways of the world/put his partents through hell before straightening himself out; well inked/bearing tatoos only a nut would love; well situated/currently studying in London) nephew to your house to stick your son into the trash can!
Or, to talk some sense into him : )

xx

Lucy Locket-Pocket said...

I'd definitely take WMK up on her offer - that nephew sounds like the man for the job!

I don't think parenting ever feels easy but it sounds like you are going through one of the worst spells - my advice? Plenty of wine, chocolate and knitting - ideally somewhere far away!!!

Lucy x

Ewe-niss said...

That darn 'free will'. I have lived through many hard trying times, cried through many of them off in a room. Of course you are doing your best. It wouldn't bother you if you didn't. Not knowing the age, I know that I have gone through many phases, and we all have survived all of them. Usually the one you don't want to be around is the one that needs you most. Most days are predictable and fun. But whooooo boy, those other days.... well let me say that I earned each gray hair.

I have 4 kids - 2 are grown and in college, the other 2 are elementary and high school. Each child is very different. Some are just more challenging. It is then I wondered how my mom survived :-) In fact after one harrowing period, my husband called his mom up and apologized for ever causing any trouble to her and dad.

In the end, we do the best we can. Some days I feel that despite my best efforts - it is just a crap shoot.

Hang in there! This too shall pass. Many hugs. Also make sure you take a little time for yourself.

Nathalie said...

I am having one of those days as well. I went from thinking "maybe another baby" this morning, to "what was I thinking" this evening. Hang in there.

Gina said...

It does get better... honestly! And then just as you're starting to like them as people they leave home!

dottycookie said...

Hugs, Michaela. I rather doubt there's a parent in the world who hasn't had much the same feelings at some time or another.

alice c said...

If you are energetic and creative then the chances are that your children will be too. If they are using that energy and creativity to rebel against you then it will be challenging. I promise you that when the tide turns you will have have wonderful, energetic, creative adults and you will not want to let them leave home.

Kitty said...

It will get easier. It will. Just when you think it won't, it will. Hang on in there. x

picperfic said...

and when they get a bit older they say as you start to cry...'and don't give me any of that emotional crap!' I'll never forget my son saying that to me, or the feelings those words evoked. They can be so cruel, and then they are grown and quite delicious again! Give me a baby any day! Well in comparison to a teenager,,,lol

wonderwoman said...

parenthood is a huge rollercoaster - just when you think you can do no right, they just surprise you! and Gina is right, by the time all is relatively hunky dory - they leave home!!! hang on in there, things do get better and they do change!

xxx

quinn said...

I have no advice, but lots and lots of hugs, Michaela. I wish I could settle you in a comfy chair, and hand you a cup of tea and a slice of cake made just for you.

:)

trashalou said...

Hang on! There is to be no stuffing of nephews/naughty children anywhere near the Trash Can!!

Primrose Corner said...

Children ar never easy. My son has been stubborn and difficult from the day he was born. At a day old the midwife at the hospital wanted to send out to be with the car park attendant because he would cry if your wanted to put him down and it was driving her mad. He's no different now as a teenager. Just as stubborn but the thing that really gets to him is if I say "I just don't want to speak to you right now - I'm too angry - either you leave the room or I do" He cannot handle me walking away and refusing to speak to him anymore.... What'll I do when he hits 14? Will he still care - that Mum is walking away? Oh! Take care - do something nice for yourself.

Pink Sky said...

*hug* Hang in there and I am hoping for a good outcome to this stressful time.

Chrissyc said...

You can't do right for doing wrong?

You wait (and I know it's hard to wait)- your good upbringing will pay off. It makes sense.

I found with my wilful one that backing off worked. Shouting and demanding good behaviour from them just adds to the fireworks (not that I'm suggesting you're doing that).

As most people have said, it will all come right. You'll be amazed - and glad if you can look back without remembering too many horrible scenes. My son (now 30) is a dream. Who'd have thought it?

silverpebble said...

Sending thoughts - I often in life things seem dreadful but then settle down. Really hope this is one of those times for you. All best wishes - hope it gets better soon and the worries disperse. Emma x

Moogsmum said...

I have to agree with Ali!! If we all knew what we were letting ourselves in for the human race would become extinct!!

Sending you a great big ((((HUG))))

xxx

p.s. can I borrow WMK's nephew when you've finished with him. I know a couple of little people who could do with a talking to...